July 23, 2003
They’re doing amazing things with toothbrushes these days. Or, at least, they’re doing amazing things with my toothbrush. I assume, that is, that they’re doing amazing things. It’s entirely plausible that they are just doing random things in the hopes that people will buy them because, Look! Technology!
My new toothbrush has a little squiggle of rubber down the middle. And the bristles on the sides are longer. And multicolored. I think, too, that if I unlock the secret, it is going to, I don’t know, start dancing or something. Also, it’s about twice the size of a standard toothbrush, which makes it feel like I have a ball-gag-on-a-stick in my mouth when I’m brushing. And it almost goes without saying that it has a custom ribbed grip on it, for, uh, my pleasure, I suppose.
But the thing is, my teeth feel really clean.