July 7, 2004
I’m filling out lots of forms to get finances in order. One of them is the beneficiary forms for my life insurance and (I think) 401(k), for who should get my money if I die. One of the required fields is “Daytime Phone Number.”
I can totally envision the turn of events that brought about it’s inclusion, too.
“Yes, sir, we’re calling to discuss the dispersal of your assets due to your untimely death…”
“Well, I’m eating dinner right now. Aren’t you guys supposed to call during the daytime?”
“Riiight. See, we didn’t have that. It’s, it’s not on the form.”
“Look, you people have got a lot of gall, calling during dinner time. It’s not enough that I’m dead. I bet you want me to sign up for some new service or something, right?”
“Well, now that you mention it, we’re running a special on–”
Hey, and since I’m on the subject, my other death wishes (not that way) include
- An open bar and Karaoke machine at my memorial. And you better use ‘em.
- Any money left over from that and paying off my outstanding debts to be divided evenly between the ACLU and the EFF.
They keep fallin’
And that’s ’cause I should’ve put the damn top up last night.
Rode my bike to work.
I had to towel off my seats in the morning
Because they’re wet.
Probly haven’t dried yet.