October 25, 2005
I Know Where The Caged Bird Flies (Has a Layover, Anyway)
There are two small birds—sparrows, I think—flying around in the B Terminal of the Boise Airport. I have a book, an internet connection, and several movies on my laptop, but I’ve been watching the birds for about 15 minutes while I wait on hold with all my financial institutions to change my address.
On my whirlwind tour through the Pacific NorthNotQuiteSoWest, I have learned the following things, which I did not before know.
- There is beer in Salt Lake City (the airport, anyway), but it’s pretty wussy beer.
- Oh, good lord. We interrupt this list to bring you the fact that that lights just partly went off and there’s a… buzzing, sort of sizzling sound from above. I can’t see, but I hope that neither of the birds found a new path to ground.
- “No, You ‘da ho!” never gets old. Never.
- Flight attendants are specially trained to always try to give you drinks at the exact moment that whatever movie you are watching is at its most socially objectionable scene.
- Exits from Idaho freeways are labeled with mile markers only, not street names. Our directions, on the other hand, were t’other way ’round. Hilarity ensued.
Begging For Closure
“Can I ask why you’ve chosen to close your account?”
“It’s too hard to navigate the menus to get to the close account option. I don’t want to have a card that’s that difficult to cancel.”
“Well how about…. [thinking]. Uhm. How about if I give you a coupon for…”
