May 8, 2003
Truth in Advertising
So, I’m flipping through the Stuff magazine that Kevin recently got (for free; it must be contagious), and I get to the back, where they always have those snake-oil sex therapy tapes and books and pills and whatnot. The particular one that catches my eye is a Penis Enlargement ad. (And, yes, I realize that I’m opening myself up to jokes. Just try to do something original with it; that’s all I ask.)
I notice that one of the section headings says, in rather large letters:
A 60-DAY SUPPLY LASTS A LIFETIME!
Now, I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that they just said that their product will kill you in two months or less. I’m a bit taken aback, but at least they are honest about it. I mean, I know that I won’t have to buy any more than a 60 day supply. Also, I can put my things in order. Maybe, instead of buying them for myself, I should get one of my enemies a bottle as a gift.
Note to my enemies: disregard the last statement. Any penis enlarging supplements I send to you are sent purely in the intrest of mocking you.
Anyway, I’d never buy from the back of a magazine like that. I prefer to get all my foolish purchases through email. I may have to try a different tack, though, and soon. Those guys still haven’t gotten back to me about those h0t |_3$B1a|\| $|_u+s they promised.