June 5, 2003

Revenge of the Satanic Butter Man

Posted in General at 11:36 pm by Ian

Had friends over last night for pizza and games. And, just to toot my own horn a bit, the pizza was damn [toot] spectacular [toot, toot].

We started off playing Taboo. I was a little off my game, but at least we didn’t have a repeat of the goldfish incident. Perhaps you have not heard about this. It took me nearly the whole minute, one time, to get my team to say goldfish. It went something like this:

Ian: Ok, so this is an… animal thingy that lives in the…. liquid.
Team: Fish!
Ian: Yeah, so it’s a kind of fish. Start naming fish.
Team: Trout. Salmon. Mackerel.
Ian: No, it’s, uhm. It’s a kind of carp. People keep them as pets! They’re pets!
Team: Guppies. Cats… Catfish! Sharks. Sea monkeys.
Ian: It’s got the word “fish” in it’s name. It’s something fish.
Team: Catfish! Tuna fish!
Ian: No, no. It’s a pet. It’s like the most common fish ever. Everyone has one of these when they’re a kid.
Team: A bicycle!
Ian: NO! IT’S A FISH! Oh! It’s got a color in it’s name. It’s COLOR fish!
Team: Red fish. Blue fish. Green fish.
Ian: No. It’s an actual fish. There’s no such thing as a green fish. The color is… the color is a metal. It’s precious metal fish!

And, folks, this next line (which is totally factual) will convince you that I was, that night, cursed by the gods of Taboo.

Team: Silver Fish!

At this point, I think I gripped my hair and made a noise something like

Ian: EEuuurrrgggh!
Timer: Ding!

Anyway. Nothing like that. After Taboo, we moved on to Pictionary. But this was no normal Pictionary; this was Bible Pictionary. It’s not mine (I’m borrowing it), but so far, I’m a huge fan of Bible Pictionary. Part of it is that it’s funny to listen to random guesses like: “Crucifixion! No… romans. Something with romans. Oh! Oh! Give to Caesar that which is Caesar’s, and to God that which is God’s! No… uhm…” The other part is that the game is considerably more random than standard Pictionary, in that you never know if you have something simple like “sandal” or something that you would never, ever, in a million years, with a degree in fine arts, an eidetic memory, and a full set of colored pencils, pens, and charcoal, get people to guess, like “hyssop,” or “prodigal,” or “brazen serpent.”

When it became painfully evident that my team was losing (I blame the loss on the fact that the other team got the good black marker, while we got various non-functional ones, because when I tried to blame it on Elly, she got all indignant, and Uber could squash me like a bug), we conceded, and moved on to Telephone Pictionary.

If you have not played this game, allow me to enlighten you. It’s not a competitive game; it’s just a huge amount of fun. You need at least 7 people, and it helps to have an odd number of people (but it’s not essential). Each person needs a blank piece of paper and something to write with. Start by writing a sentence or phrase at the top of the page. As wacky or nonsensical as you want. Then pass the paper to the next person. When you receive a paper with a phrase showing, you draw a picture of what the phrase says, fold the phrase over (so only your picture is showing), and pass to the next person. When you receive a paper with a picture showing, you write what the picture is, fold over the picture (so only what you’ve just written is visible), and pass to the next person.

Repeat until you get back your original piece (it’s probably a good idea to either count rounds, or write your name at the bottom, as you may not even recognize your work).

Hilarity ensues.

It is usually a laugh riot after each round, as everyone shares the pictures and things that were funny. My favorites are the ones that change so drastically, you almost don’t know what happened. One classic started as “The frog eats cheese at noon” and ended “Two people and a cello floating in a pool.” Another was “Katie goes dancing in her dress,” which ended up as “Satan fires a cannon.” Another amusing one was the phrase “Amorphous blob,” which not only managed to be written as “Amorphous blob” three out of four times (including the final one), but was also drawn nearly identically each time. Apparently we all have the same idea about what an amorphous blob looks like.

It’s amazing how many things will tend to turn into

  • cows
  • pigs
  • demons
  • and, uh… cellos.

The Satanic Butter Man™ made an appearance last night. He started out as an angry baboon, but ended up as a demon with toast and butter. He was then dubbed Satanic Butter Man. He then showed up again in the next round. This time I think he evolved from an arch-nemesis.



  1. Philip said,

    My memory of that Taboo event was that you did in fact finally get your team to say Goldfish, but it took almost all of your time. I could be wrong though. When was that anyway? Finals week 2nd semester Freshman year I think… I know that it was down in the Mudd hole during noisy minutes snacks while I should have been studying. I certainly remember the event; I was on the other team, sitting next to you, and laughing my ass off the whole time. I seem to remember that we had quite a few really poor showings that night, although your goldfish was certainly the worst.

  2. Ian said,

    Yeah. I think you’re right; we did finally get it. Still. That little touch of reality would totally wreck the whole thing I had going there. And you can’t wreck the thing. You just can’t.

  3. Nikhil said,

    I think I was on that team, and, when you mentioned precious metals, “silverfish!!” seemed like a totally reasonable type of fish.

    But anyway, toast and butter – that’s a treat I’d barter my soul (or one of my spares, like the one Jizwad lost to me in Acey Deucey) for.

  4. Sarra said,

    I would like to point out that the amorphous blob was mine, and my drawing of Katie in her ballroom polo dress looked nothing like Katie in a ballroom polo dress.

    Also, Wednesday night enabled me to discover that I am spectacularly bad at Taboo. Unfortunately I couldn’t stay around for the Bible pictionary, that sounds highly amusing. Even though I would be even worse at that, considering I’ve never read the Bible.

  5. Lisa said,

    Dude. I conferred with Friend Renee on games that are fun to play and a: told her about telephone pictionary, bien sur, which she is very excited to play, and 2: made sure that 4-on-the-couch was a fun game and I wasn’t insane. She LOVES it. You all are dorks, and have to let me show you how to play. Telephone Pictionary sounds stupid when described as well.

  6. Ian said,

    Hey, I wanted to try four on the couch. I was just giving you a hard time because everyone had made fun of my game.

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