June 9, 2003

Alphabetic Mayhem

Posted in General at 8:28 pm by Ian

Well, it had to happen sooner or later. I’m being investigated by the Disciplinary Board. Don’t worry, though; they’ll never find the body.

As much of a downer as this is, you will all have the pleasure of reading one of those case summaries next semester that goes something like this (names have been changed to letters for reasons known only to the people who put out these case summaries):

Student A and Alumnus B were visiting students C, D, E, and F in Foothill Apartment A (no, this one’s actually apartment A), shortly before the end of the year. Knowing that the apartments were to be destroyed soon (side note: They’re being burned down! How cool is that!), apartment A resident C, or possibly D, no one really remembers, mentioned that said visitors could take a swing at the walls if they wanted. Woefully disregarding email G regarding such behavior, student A and alumnus B decided to go for it, and attacked wall H, situated between bedroom I and hallway J, using fists and elbows K, L, M and N (respectively), and then, ater determining that wall H was significantly stronger than student A’s fist, moved up to knee O and foot P. Said foot eventually pushed through wall H, getting stuck in what ended up becoming gaping whole Q. Student A then sort of hopped on foot R for a while, until Alumnus B helped him get unstuck, causing ever larger chunk of wall, uh, S, to come falling down, making student A look a bit as though he had gotten in a fight with chalkboard eraser T, and lost. But it wasn’t funny.

This was serious. This is discipline.


  1. Sarra said,

    No, actually, that is funny.

  2. Philip said,

    First of all, I was the one who helped Student A out of the wall, and I am certainly not alumnus B. Second, have they burned the apartments down yet? If so, do you have any pictures or videos?

  3. Ian said,

    My bad. The story will be amended. Which is more trouble than you think, because all the damn letters after that one have to be changed. Maybe I’ll just make an endnote.

    Not burned yet. My hope is that they are destroyed before the investigation begins 😉

  4. Philip said,

    Whenever it does get burned, I expect pictures.(Video if you can manage it…)

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