June 9, 2003


Posted in Technical at 10:15 pm by Ian

That’s it computer. You did not just disconnect me right when I was going to win. This is the last straw.

I will hurt you. I will make all your electrodes cry out with the pain of a million volts. You don’t want to know what I can do to you, computer.

I will put cheese in your floppy drive, bologna in your cd drive, and will fill your I/O ports with ketchup. I will set your power supply on fire and then pour thermal grease on you. Conductive.

If you do not return my connection, I will take you out into a field and increase your airflow with a shotgun. I will remove your processor, and pull each pin off with plyers as I listen to your motors whimper. It will be bad, computer. It will be very bad.

At night, when you slumber, I shall creep stealthily up to your monitor, smash it in with a hammer, and dance gleefully, wearing a headdress made from your shredded IDE cables.

There are limits, computer. And I am up to here with you. ::Holds hand up::



  1. Adam said,

    Now that’s just not very nice… poetic, but not very nice.

  2. Dad said,

    Don’t curse to your computer like it’s a person. It’s a machine.

    Besides, it won’t like you any more.

  3. Lisa said,

    Woah. “Adam” has apparently been taken over by Katie.

  4. Ian said,

    Ha ha ha. Adam, sir, I believe she just impugned your manhood there.

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