July 30, 2003

News Flash

Posted in General at 1:20 pm by Ian

It seems that telemarketers have teamed up with lawyers to bring suit against the National Do Not Call List.

It seems like a pretty vague lawsuit. It’s not even clear what law or right they claim the list would be violating. Must be in one of those trans-Bill of Rights amendments.

XVIIRZQ: The Constitution Strikes Back.
Congrefs shall make no law regarding an establishment of commerce, or prohibiting the annoying practices thereof; or abridging the ability of said establishments to call and hassle you at dinner time, or lunch time; or the right of those in their employ to mispronounce your name, and to have an undeniable right to all the profits of such jerk-offishness.

The funniest part of the article is that they claim it will result in the loss of “two million jobs.” That’s not, in itself, funny, but I find it unlikely that there are that many telemarketers in the US. Assuming an average household size of 4, that means that, on average, each telemarketer would only call around 40 houses a day before they’d start to repeat. If this were actually the case, telemarketing wouldn’t really be that bad; we could get to know these telemarketers.

Telemarketer: Hi, can I speak to Mr. Eye-un Fah-rel?
Me: Yeah this is Ian Ferrel.
Telemarketer: Well, Mr. Fahrel, my name is Bob, and I’m calling today to ask you if you’re satisfied with the service you’ve gotten from…
Me: Bob? How’s it going, man. We were starting to think you wouldn’t call back tonight. Hey, everyone, it’s Bob!
Friends: Hey Bob! Bob, how’s it going? What up, Bob-o.
Telemarketer: So, as I was saying, I have an exciting opportunity for you to
Me: Actually, Bob, we’re kinda in the middle of something. I’m gonna have to give you a call back. But listen, we’re still on for tennis on Tuesday, right?
Telemarketer: Sure.
Me: Ok, Bob. ‘Night.

See.

But, in reality, there are probably way fewer people working in telemarketing, and I think that, while it would be a hardship for them, the loss of those jobs is not too devastating overall. Besides, they’d finally have to go get jobs that provide a service someone actually wants, such as selling crack, or their bodies.

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1 Comment »

  1. Lisa said,

    As someone who (oh, the shame) has worked in telemarketing, albeit briefly, let me remind you that there the telemarketers need a: supervisors, b: people that hire the many transients, and c: people that actually make/package/delive/inspect/install the service/item that the telemarketer is proferring. So there are mre people involved than just the annoying ones.

    But we did go through the numbers very very quickly. More than a month ago was very old, more than a few days ago was fine to call. So the game of tennis would still be on.


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