August 26, 2003

Road Trip: Capsize

Posted in General at 4:36 pm by Ian

This is the first post in a series mocking AB’s posts about his trip to Colorado with his brother and father. It is unrelated to AB’s similarly benoted posts about his actual trip to Colorado.

The storm has taken the car!
The storm has taken the car!

Although we thought we’d left such things behind in Kansas, the storm was not to be so easily shrugged off. As we left the gas station, the storm approached once more, sneaking up upon us like Batman sneaks up on someone. Borne on the head of the foam as it rushed toward us, I saw the gaping eye-sockets of the coyote, back for vengeance.

The waves shook the car, tossing us to and fro and then to again. As the water buffeted the car and the lapping waves slowly crested the hood, the engine died. I felt the body of the car lift; we were floating. Down the great highways of Kansas we were swept, the storm picking up other cars and dragging them along as though they were small bits of metal and fiberglass floating in a much smaller stream. On our left was a semi-cab on it’s side, stripped of its cargo. I motioned my hand up and down, making a fist, in that most universal of languages. The driver obliged.

The air horn blast filled the night air, or, actually, the day air, but it was really dark, because of the storm, with an eerie stillness as it echoed off the towering waves flooding the Sunflower State. Fashioning a rudimentary paddle out of a hockey stick and a hubcap, we tried to navigate through the wreckage of the storm, but the car just sunk slowly until we were cast free.

If anyone finds this note, tell Ian he can have my computer chair, and give my body to science.


Editor’s Note: This note was found by Ian while he drove through Kansas yesterday after getting lost on the way to the grocery store. Damn mapquest. AB’s body has not been found.



  1. AB said,

    Hey, it’s not my fault that all the cool stuff happens to me. I had to leave out the part after we paddled to safety because I didn’t think that anyone would believe my story about saving the struggling orphanage from evil businessmen and the Illuminati.

    I am safe and sound for now, so stay away from my chair. It wasn’t easy to trick Kevin into taking my creaky, broken base, and I fully intend to reap the benefits myself.

    On a semi-related note, by my count 9 of the last 14 posts have been titled “Road Trip: (whatever)”. We really need to branch out a little 🙂

  2. Ian said,

    Your downfall will be the email I send to Kevin with the url of this post.

    Hey, and the second we stop taking road trips, this too will change.

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