September 29, 2003

Pirates Vs. Ninjas Redux

Posted in General at 5:01 pm by Ian

Now your favorite clans can fight it out on evilblog.

Are you P-) or :ninja:?


In Case Matt Forgets

Posted in General at 11:44 am by Ian

Kitri: Men know something about women.
Andrew: We know they have boobs.

September 28, 2003

Don’t Ask.

Posted in General at 11:17 pm by Ian

Tim just came into my room to ask if I had any safety pins, or something like that. I told him I had a needle and thread, if that would work. He thought that it might, but didn’t know how to sew.

“What for,” I asked. Foolishly.

“We want to position SpongeBob’s hands like so,” he said, moving the arms of the stuffed animal into a certain position, “so that he’s making obscene gestures to everyone who comes into the suite.”

They’re clearly not giving the Frosh enough homework.

Do You Get This?

Posted in General at 11:07 pm by Ian


And if so, do you think it’s at all funny?

If you don’t, don’t worry, you’re in good company.

September 27, 2003


Posted in General at 10:48 pm by Ian

We were watching Little Kid Jeopardy™ this afternoon and heckling the contestants. But those little twerps deserved it. Who talks with a snooty accent at the age of twelve??? Deirdre, it seems, does.

I should explain. First, we were playing Smash Bros. and the other TV (well, one of the other ones :D) got turned on so Nikhil could suck at Final Fantasy II. But what was actually on there was the beginning of Jeopardito, so we started to watch out of the corners of our eyes. Pretty soon, we were just doing moves that took up a lot of time so we could watch the little kids.

After a few minutes, we were just shouting the answers, or what we thought were the answers, or whatever. Little buggers were smart. They knew more about baseball than I did, more about international relations than Kevin, and more about 4th grade literature than all of us put together. Punks.

Highlight of the episode:
Alex: Easter is on a different date each year because it revolves around this heavenly body.
Stephen: [shouting at the TV] Jesus!

September 25, 2003

Free Riders

Posted in General at 10:18 pm by Ian

In Global Environmental Politics today, Prof Steinburg was discussing the Free Rider problem as it relates to non-consumable exclusive resources. Or maybe it was consumed non-excludable resources. Or something else. But anyway, the idea was that people are less likely to donate to, say, save the rainforests than they are to buy something for themselves because if someone else gives money to save the rain forests, you can get all the benefits of their donation, whereas if you want a certain product and someone else gets it, you’re no better off.

Except that he was using software as his example of a product that is useless when purchased by someone else. I managed not to laugh, though.

Coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs

Posted in General at 9:29 pm by Ian

“A power over a man’s subsistence amounts to a power over his will.”
–Alexander Hamilton (Federalist 79)

I sure hope Platt doesn’t make me do anything crazy.

September 24, 2003

Writing Centaur

Posted in General at 9:18 pm by Ian

We’re trying to select the quote that will go on the Writing Center T-shirts, so I was paging through reams of writer-related quotes this evening when I wasn’t doing a consultation. Found some great ones, my favorite of which is:

“Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money.”

Sadly, though, that one doesn’t fit quite so well with what the Writing Center does, unless we want to portray ourselves as friendly pimps.


But anyway, I think the funniest part was the way a few of the quotes were cut off by the edge of the page. Of about six quotes that got printed out incorrectly, two came out rather well. The first was Thomas Jefferson, and I forget who said the second.

“The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one–”

“Never write so briefly that it becomes–”

I also found the phrase that I believe will eventually make it onto the shirts:

“The first draft of anything is shit.”
— Ernest Hemingway

When a Fire Starts To Burn…

Posted in General at 12:45 am by Ian

I swear that that jingle will go through my head if I’m ever caught in a fire.
And for those of you who don’t get the reference, you need to watch more Simpsons. Shame on you.

F & M made me move all my dishes that were in front of one of the suite doors. Now, first of all, no one uses that door anyway (partly because there’s a bunch of glassware piled in front of it), and second of all, they called it a “fire hazard.”


Glass doesn’t burn.

September 22, 2003

In Which Ian Explores Stream of Consciousness Writing

Posted in General at 9:27 pm by Ian

Just had an awesome tutoring session for CS60, the class that I signed up for because I figured it would involve less work that CS70. So far, that’s been the case, although people were there working quite a bit tonight. The thing is, I was totally on top of my game. Answering questions. Left. Right! Bam, and I had the answer, even though I’d never done Java I/O, and it involves crazy incantations such as new random.other.crap.Ala.Kazaam). I even got a big laugh at my final joke when I left the terminal room.

I bet Seinfeld doesn’t even always get that.

I mean, if he did standup anymore.

The only downside of the evening so far has been that I couldn’t go check my mail which has been accumulating in the last few days, most likely with important and vital offers (I may have already won! You? No.) that, as I said, I was unable to access because I forget the combination to the mailroom, which newly this year has been secured.

My theory based on thinking about it for about 13 seconds is that it was secured because of the widespread theft of porn from mailboxes. Soon, though, that won’t be much of an issue, as I hear that porn magazines are having an exceptionally tough time of it financially, what with all the porn on the internet (ha ha. Just try to check my facts on that one. Google will cackle violently, as it did earlier today when I was trying to find a site that supposedly had “rules” for Emo culture, and Google gave me back 2,466,000 hits with the phrase: “Emo RULES!!!!!!11“). Hustler is apparently dangerously close to not printing any more issues, and Playboy’s subscribers are less than 10% of what they were a decade or so ago.

Single Tear™ 😥

Which leads me to believe that Larry Flynt’s bid for governor is more than just one of his publicity stunts. I bet he needs the cash. I mean, hey, cocaine doesn’t come cheap.

But, back to the mailroom. I have a feeling that it’s a pretty marginal security measure considering:

  • There’s one combination for the mailroom, which all the students know. Call me crazy, but I don’t think that people are coming in off the street to steal porn.
  • The lock is one of those ones that we use on the doors here to keep out the slow-witted and foolish, with 5 numbers to press. They are ridiculously easy to brute force, especially considering that the numbers can’t be used repeatedly, and someone in administration apparently decided that using all the numbers was somehow more secure. 🙄

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