September 29, 2003

Pirates Vs. Ninjas Redux

Posted in General at 5:01 pm by Ian

Now your favorite clans can fight it out on evilblog.

Are you P-) or :ninja:?



  1. P-) all the WAY!!!!!!!

  2. Kevin said,

    P-) for life. YAR!

  3. Nikhil said,

    :confused:wtf? Who would vote for :ninja:? They’ve got hardly any style at all.
    P-)’s all the way!

  4. becca said,

    oh come on now, :ninja: is so much cooler. granted, you dont have the entertaining manner of speaking, but really, the disease-ridden scurvy-ness just takes away from the allure of piracy. ninjas, on the other hand, have no such downfalls, and just kick ass in general.

  5. Disease-ridden scurvy? Please. Captain Cook so totally took care of that, like, centuries ago. And the main downfall of :ninja:s is far worse than a little Vitamin C deficiency: :ninja:s don’t have wenches.
    P-) 4-ever!

  6. Daniel said,

    I ate sushi a couple weeks ago.

    I ate sushi like a NINJA! :ninja:

    BTW – a :ninja: would SO whoop the living bejeesus out of a P-) . A P-) ain’t didly-shit on land without his buddies. You put a P-) and a :ninja: in a sword fight and the :ninja: would win.

  7. Kyle said,

    I can’t believe this debate even exists. :ninja:’s rule all. They are the master of every style of combat, silent and deadly. Put a HUNDRED P-)s versus one :ninja: and the ninja would win.
    All P-)s get to do is say “ARRRR”

    Tony: “You do realize, with these stats, this ‘ninja’ unit has more destructive capability than an atomic bomb.”
    Greg: “Dude, its a NINJA”
    Tony: “Point taken.”
    (paraphrased from a comic you all should be familiar with. If you’re not, 😮 its…. and shame on you)

  8. Ian said,

    – – – – –
    – – – – – –

    – – – – – – –
    – – – – – – —| —
    – – – – – – – -/\

  9. Matthew-san said,

    OK, let’s break this down step by step:

    P-) : Rum
    :ninja: : Sake
    Winner: P-)

    P-) : Has to lose a leg and an eye
    :ninja: : Black mask
    Winner: :ninja:

    P-) : Cutlass
    :ninja: : Katana
    Winner: :ninja:

    P-) : “Yo ho, Yo ho…”
    :ninja: : Singing is for pansies.
    Winner: Draw

    Picking up Women:
    P-) : “So, if you were a P-) …”
    :ninja: : Sneaking into her bedroom
    Winner: P-)

    Daily Chores:
    P-) : Swabbing the deck
    :ninja: : Flipping out and killing entire towns.
    Winner: :ninja:

    What would be said in an interview:
    P-) : “Arrrrr!” “Me hearty” “Scallywag”
    :ninja: : (:ninja: flips out, kills interviewer, never saying a word)
    Winner: Draw

    Who would win in a fight:
    P-) : “Avast! Have at thee!”
    :ninja: : Real ultimate power
    Winner: :ninja:

    Furthermore, according to the infallible historical resource, :ninja:’s and P-)’s did fight in the year 440. The two :ninja:’s killed “an entire squadron of P-)’s and don’t even think twice about it.” And lest the P-)’s get all uppity about winning the picking up women section, it was in the year 1986 when a ninja “breaks world recors all over the planet when he porks 500 hot babes at once.”

    There is only one way for this vote to go.

    :ninja:, nothing less.

  10. Kevin said,

    :ninja: ‘s get beaten to a pulp in like, every single action movie. They’re the default “I’m only in here to get my butt kicked” character. P-) ‘s all the way!

  11. Ian said,

    GoogleFight tells a happy story about

    Pirate Vs. Ninja

    Winner: :ninja:

  12. Kevin said,

    Google fights also say that porn is about the coolest thing on the face of the earth…and by quite a large margin too.

  13. Ian said,

    “The” beats “Porn” in a landslide.

  14. Nikhil said,

    I think some people are overlooking how cool it would be to actually be a P-) or :ninja:
    So, I think the last words on this subject should be:

    go P-)’s

    Except the ones that were in “Tail Spin”
    They were much less than true pirates and should not be used as an example of how :ninja:’s might even compare to P-)’s.

  15. Lisa said,

    Yeah, :ninja:s have to practice self-restraint and all that nonsense. :pirate:s just plunder booty. And cavort with wenches.
    Hey, Ian, y

  16. Lisa said,

    Yeah, :ninja:s have to practice self-restraint and all that nonsense. :pirate:s just plunder booty. And cavort with wenches.

    Hey, Ian, you should have a wench emoticon.

  17. Lisa said,

    What? Why did that post three times? And it’s supposed to be P-)s. Soorry.

  18. Ian said,

    Typing skills really catching up to you, aren’t they?

  19. Matt said,

    What part of fighting ALL the time and flipping out is included in self-restraint? P-)s spend too many months at sea on a ship w/ no one but men. :ninja:s can sneak into bedrooms any time they want. Even if they are fighting a P-) at the same time. That’s real ultimate power for ya.

  20. Sarra said,

    Right, and did you miss the fact that “sneaking into bedrooms any time they want” counts as rape? Or are we just ignoring that?

    On second thought, if we’re just ignoring that, I don’t want to know. I like to think of my male freinds as civilized. Don’t ruin the delusion.

    PS P-) win for one simple reason: Johnny Depp. I know you men aren’t really into that, but that’s ok, you guys get Orlando Bloom. 😀

  21. Nikhil said,


    P-) = 😎 + swashbuckling
    :ninja: = 😦 + 😡 – fun songs

  22. Dan said,

    Told you Ninja’s kick Pirate ass!

  23. Dan said,


  24. Glen said,

    P-) are pansies who need a whole dam crew, while a single ninja could kill them all…. NInjas are way cooler!

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