October 5, 2003
Nucular Bombs and Governators
We all know it’s going to happen.
So, if you can’t beat ’em…
Next Friday night, we’re having a special movie night. Red Sonja (for which I have devised an excellent drinking game; “ayah!”), and Kindergarten Cop (“It’s not a toomah”) will be on the playlist, so we can all enter this next phase in California’s governance with the proper perspective. Also, and I have to get this in there, but at least Arnold can pronounce “nuclear” correctly.
But that’s actually not the politics I’ve been thinking about. I’ve been thinking about Iran. As I’m sure all of you know by now from reading the Onion, America’s Finest News Source™, Iran has been given a deadline of October 31st to prove that it does not have a secret nuclear weapons program.
An excellent goal, no doubt, with only the minor problem that it’s entirely impossible. I’m not even sure I could prove I don’t have a secret nuclear weapons program. Maybe I left it in my other pants or something. Iran doesn’t even have a chance.
Iran: Well, here’s a detailed breakdown of all our defense spending, a guided tour through our nuclear plants, and blueprints of all related buildings.
US: Ha, Iran! We won’t fall for that. A secret military weapons program would never show up in such obvious documentation. Hey! [points at random building] Maybe the nukes are in there. What are you hiding from us, Iran?
And so on.