October 6, 2003
How I Went Down
Central Command: All personnel, prepare to initiate; standby for count sequence.
Motivation: Roger that, Command.
Connection: Standing by.
Perception: Situation Normal.
Central Command: Alright, I want this by the numbers. We are going on “one,” people! Prepare to initiate count sequence momentar–
Perception: Alert! Alert! I have “five.” I repeat: “five.” We’re halfway through the count sequence. Double time.
Motivation: Going to postition now sir. [to the side] I said move! Sir, we’re… there’s reports of a problem coming in from the front. One of the feet, Sir, it’s caught… it, it appears to be caught in a pants leg.
Central Command: By the numbers, people!
Connection: Disengaging, Sir–
Connection: Sir, she won’t let, let GO. Alright. Moving to intercept.
Connection: Sir, we have multiple bogeys inbound; it’s getting pretty ugly down here. Please advise.
Central Command: Complete your mission and evacuate! You’ll have to catch up to us later. All other teams, prepare for emergency starting procedures. On my mark.
Central Command: That’s it, Go go go! We are go for emergency launch.
Motivation: [curtly] s’Sir.
Perception: wait. I meant “six.”
Motivation: Encountering some resistance, Sir. Looks like a no-go on this end.
Central Command: Repeat that message, soldier.
Connection: Rejoined the group, Sir. Straightening out. Wait–
Central Command: Abort! Abort! Fall back and regroup. Execute escape pattern “Delta.”
Motivation: Sir, we’re encountering a problem in sectors five and thirteen. The “feet” there haven’t kept up with the rest of us. Unable to regroup as ordered.
Connection: Same here, Sir, there’s no tension; she wasn’t rea–
Motivation: Losing control.
Central Command: All hands brace for impact. Awooooga! Awooooga!
Central Command: Full report!
Motivation: All systems stop.
Connection: Fatal breach on all points of contact.
Perception: Here it comes… “One!”