December 15, 2003

If You Had To Describe the Scent of This Room In Terms of One R&B Artist…

Posted in General at 1:33 am by Ian

which one would it be?

If you’re having trouble answering that question, you haven’t been to our suite when I was burning my Nelly® Incense. You may wonder why I have such a thing. Clearly you are not as refined an olfactory connoisseur as I.

On the box, it says (I shit you not) “Contains the following Nelly™ scents fosho¹”:

  • Ride With Me
  • Country Grammar
  • Batter Up

Each of the incense sticks are colored on the bottom, but, sadly, there is no mapping of song titles to colors, so I am unable to determine which of the Nelly scents I am actually burning. Except of course that no one but an uncultured slob could mistake “Batter Up” for either of the others. It has such a distinctive character; definitely a blend inspired by whatever themes are present in the song (assuming that’s a Nelly© song). It’s like inhaling the essence of gangsta rhythm. And sulfur.

1. Fosho: foh-show abbreviation of “for sure” slang, retarded.

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