January 29, 2004


Posted in General at 5:19 pm by Ian

Since coming back to school the complexity of my life, as measured by the number of keys on my keyring, has increased dramatically. Before this, I had a very simple life with simple needs and a simple ring of keys. Bike, house, garage. And that was all there was, because that’s all there needed to be. I remember being at Leslie’s, and having her, Crissa and Dave all waxing scientific on various key-organizing schemes as they examined their incomprehensible collections. The cacophony of clinking was overwhelming, but I remained serene, fingering my three simple keys and thinking how nice it was to live a simple life.

And, now, in addition to those, I have room, suite, Writing Center, and the newly added elevator keys. I need keys to the elevator because CS clinic has moved up to the second floor of the library, because who needs books, anyways? Or maybe it was so we could have more room, which we do, enough to play football, or paintball. Raytheon vs. NeonGecko. Eat it, lizards. The trick, though, is getting there in the first place. We have to take the elevator up from the basement, which requires a key to get the elevator to come, plus an additional key to get the second floor (which, when the lady gave me that key, she said: “This is the one that’ll give you trouble.”), and then you have to sneak past the monkeys…. All in all, I’ve decided that it’s just not worth it. I’m sure somebody will eventually tell me how clinic is going.



  1. Lisa said,

    I have keys to my room, the bike shed, my bike, Seaver South, most of the rooms in the Geo dept., and my chem lab locker.

    And loving it!

  2. Lisa said,

    And of course house key and keys to the three cars. But I leave that set at home, because, really – when am I going to need them here? I’d just lose them and be screwed.
    Although my family does have a habit of taking them from my ‘safe spot’ and using them as a spare set, then forgetting to tell me where they returned them to, leading to fun situations where I am alone in the house, have an interview in 30 minutes, and have no idea where the keys to the car are. Not that this has ever happened to me.

  3. Kevin said,

    The clinic front is going poorly. We already lost Jeff when he poked his head out from behind the desk and took a paintball right in the face. Poor guy never saw it comin. Now it’s down to just me and Robby with several other clinic groups quickly converging in on our flag. We’re trying to hold the line, but we need backup. Send help! :ninja:

  4. Kevin said,

    Oh, I forgot to mention, we did manage to score a touchdown against the Aerospace team. We’re up 17-7 now with only 3 months left in the game. I think that’s all as far as clinic updates go.

  5. Liza said,

    I don’t even have keys to my house.

  6. Kevin said,

    I have a vast collection of keys and gadgets and such on my keychain. But, as the Atwood Dorm proctors will tell you, I don’t always remember to bring them with me. :doh:

  7. Ian said,

    Liza, you just, what, break a window? Use the dog door?

  8. Philip said,

    The only keys I have any use for down here at Mudd are my room and suite keys. I’m not even sure why I bother to carry those around. Maybe it’s to help keep track of my standard issue safety whisle.

  9. Sarra said,

    Hmmm… Room key, bike key, Joint Science key, three keys to various labs in JS, o-chem locker key, key card, rape whistle.

    I think Lisa has me beat.

  10. Nikhil said,

    Three keys – The most I’ve had in a while. Maybe I’ll stop carrying the suite key around.
    Don’t really need any when I’m at home. What with our retinal-scans and attack dogs. You’d have to be a P-) to sneak in my house. :ninja:s bite the dust.

    And, Kevin, I suggest you retreat. You’re clearly in over your heads.

  11. Kevin said,

    Pfft, I don’t even know the definition of retreat. But, the same can be said of a lot of words used on this blog. =P

    As for the amount of shit on my keychain, ahem:
    house key
    car key
    car alarm clicker
    suite key
    room key
    library basement key
    library second floor key
    bicycle key
    small pen
    bottle opener
    a light
    rape whistle (that sure has come in handy)
    and one little ornamental thing I got from Yellowstone

    A keychain that would rival Batman’s utility belt. Now where’d I leave that anti-shark spray…

  12. Liza said,

    I don’t even have a dog door to my house.

  13. Ian said,

    Kevin’s keychain is also useful as ballast, although his car does tip ever so slightly to the left when two people get in.

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