September 2, 2004

I’m Half Blind!

Posted in General at 6:03 pm by Ian

Author’s Note: I wrote this one last week, too. My problem really isn’t the writing so much as it is the posting. I wonder what else I’ve got in here…

Played in a little Hold ’em tourney here amongst some friends. It was the first time I’d ever played no limit (albeit with a relatively small bankroll). It was some of the most fun Poker I’d ever played. Because the pot went to the winner (with entry fee back to second place), there was none of the reluctance to bet with “assured winnings” that we always got in our little poker games back home. Everyone was still in it for the money until the end.

Plus, it didn’t hurt that I won.

In subjectively related other news, my glasses are malfunctioning. It’s come to my attention that the lenses I got at Walmart, which I chose because they were inexpensive, were cheap crap. The left one is not cut correctly, which puts tension on the screw holding it in, and even a slight tweak the wrong way will cause it to spring open, voiding its contents.

Author’s Note: Original title: Glasses Half Empty. Rejected for one which is punny in a different sense.

Solution the First: Keep screwing the damn things back together and hope it doesn’t happen often. I have to give praise to this approach. While I’ve danced the last two Wednesdays in a blur after having my glasses break only minutes into the evening, the rest of the time they’ve held together pretty well. Until now, when they broke again, and I couldn’t get them back together because I didn’t have my little screw driver with me.

Solution the Second: Fashion an eyepatch out of a Post-it note (really), because the world is much more comprehensible when it is all a sort-of pale yellowish color than it is when it is only half-way in focus. This has the downside of coworkers who look at one funnily, but the upside of being an excuse to talk like a pirate, so it’s basically a wash.

Solution the Third: Call around to find out if any optics shops can fix such a thing. Well, maybe they can. The only definitely affirmative response I got was from Costco, where I drove after work. I’m not a member, but I figured that I’d happily buy a membership if they would fix my glasses for me (the next best offer I got was to pay $120 to have the lenses replaced :rolleyes:). It turns out that the subject never came up. So Costco has some serious good karma going for it in my book (but no actual money).

Oh, and he didn’t do anything with the lenses, he just gave me a bigger screw. A gold one. My glasses got bling, now.



  1. becca said,

    Bwahaha. I am proud because not only do I know what you’re talking about with the poker, but I also vaguely know how to play/bet it.
    And mad props for the bling, yo.

  2. Sarra said,

    Also mad props for the discovery of yet another excuse to talk like a pirate.

    PS You must come down here on Talk Like a Pirate Day, especially because it’s also Ballroom Dance Appreciation Week.

  3. Ethan said,

    Lunch on Talk Like A Pirate Day was possibly the best lunch ever. We should put up banners to educate the public.

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