February 2, 2005

Asshattery N Out

Posted in General at 11:41 pm by Ian

I’d like to talk about ketchup. Not in a general, philosophic, sense, as I am often inclined to do with condiments, but rather as an indicator of the quandary in which we, as individuals, find ourselves when compelled to live in a system dominated by corporate interests.

Remember when they just gave you ketchup at fast food places? It was just one of those assumedly automatic offerings, like the paper thing that goes around your burger, or the suggestion to have a Nice Day™. And then some corporate bean-counter (a phrase we say with the same intonation as “Nazi Medical-Researcher”) decided that if instead they queried each customer as to their ketchup needs, they could avoid wasting ketchup on people who didn’t want or use it. And that was ok, too. Sure, it lengthens the interaction time between the Fast Food Associate (serf) and the Guest (chump), but increase efficiency makes things better for all.

But then they just started not giving it to you.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

Now I’m half a block away. I’m not going to turn back just for some ketchup packets. But I won’t forget this. Next time: I’d like some ketchup, please. Oh, that’s not quite enough, could I have some more. Thanks. Just a few more? I eat a lot of ketchup. Oh, that’s great.

Now, where’s your dumpster?



  1. Liza said,

    In n out did this to you? Bastards.

  2. Ian said,

    I concur.

  3. JT said,

    I once went to fast food restaurant, of the company I used to work for in my dark days of employment, in central California. I discovered to my suprise that they lacked such fast food essentials as cheese and ketchup. There was literally none in the store.

  4. Mama said,

    Hello Comrade!
    I can’t believe it.
    I heard today that mega mergers, (They are actually calling them marraiges now.) are in the offing. What a world. What next?
    I heard a guy, a writer, talking about the superbowl and all the censorship that has sprung up because of Janet’s wardrobe problem last year. Now they say we will all actually watch the game AND the half time entertainment — not just the commercials. But soon the average American won’t be able to recognize this as American entertainment because the censorship makes it seem more like a Soviet Socialist State propaganda message. Long live the current Czar. Yours, Pravda

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