October 31, 2005

On the Lacksidasicality of Genitalia

Posted in General at 9:18 pm by Ian

Last weekend, I traveled down to Claremont with the explicit purpose of recruiting others like myself into the bonds of employment. After a rutheless five-hour day of smiling and giving things away for free, I retired to Scripps, where there were both friends and liquid refreshment. Lisa and I went to the Motley to waste an hour (while others were being productive before dinner), and spied an excellent means of diversion.

Sex and the City Trivia.

It was an especially daunting challenge, given that I have never seen Sex and the City, and Lisa claimed to have seen only two episodes. Later, once Natalie, an avowed fan of the show, joined our game, we learned that that wasn’t necessarily a disadvantage.

To say that the game design was phoned in is really an insult to the general fidelity of telephones. As far as I could tell, the only objective in the game was gaining cards that had things from the show (for example, one of the cards was “The Girls Out to Lunch”. Another was “Sex with Heels on”). To get these cards, you had to answer questions about the show, ranging from the absurdly speciifc (“After Carrie fell down the stairs, what color lipstick was Samantha wearing for the Doctors?” Answer: “Hooker red”) to the blindingly obvious (“How much does Samantha have sex?” Answer: “A lot”).

Not knowing anything about the topic makes a trivia game quite light-hearted. When tasked with producing the name of one of our heroine’s trysts, we had only to look on our own question card for a name. I guessed “Steve” a lot.

I should note at this point that we were fantastically disruptive to the rest of the Motley. Most people were there doing homework and we were loudly reading questions, guessing, and then laughing at our inability (or, even louder, at our ability) to answer them. After a few minutes of this, we caught the attention of a girl at the next table, whose name I would bet good money is Natalie. She was a Sex fan, and joined our game. Surprisingly, her fanaticism did not pay off, and I remained in the lead. Oh, yes. I was winning.

But Lisa was gaining fast. I credit her burgeoning score to the fact that I had to receive a telephone call about dinner plans, and she and Natalie played on. She will no doubt claim a righteous increase in score. Whatever the source, she was drawing close to my previously indomitable score, when she received a question that will be her finest moment in Sex and the City trivia.

“When <character> went to the doctor for infertility, what was she diagnosed with?”

And Lisa, for the win, came back with: “A Lazy Ovary.”


  1. JT said,

    I’d just like to point out that, a few months ago, I was playing trivia with friends at the local Old Chicago. I started quite terribly, but after a few questions, I recived a phone call. While talking on the phone for the next ten minutes or so, I proceeded to leap-frog from last to first. (Disclosure: the person on the other end of the telephone was, in fact, not providing me with answers, as was somewhat widely assumed.)

    So I guess the moral of the story is: you can’t use a phone call as an excuse for losing at trivia.

  2. Ian said,

    Yeah, but when I was on the phone, I wasn’t answering questions. It was just the two women playing.

    That makes a comeback significantlly harder to achieve.

  3. Ian said,

    Ooh! I completely forgot another part of the game I wanted to mention. There were five questions on the card, chosen by rolling a die. But if you rolled a six, there was a thing that you had to act out. It was by no means an easy task. For example, one of the things to be acted out was “Frenemies,” which isn’t even a word.

    We elected not to act out these things, but we still did look at them. One was “Unprotected Sex,” for which my method of miming shall be secreted away until some future time when I can get sufficient numbers of people drunk enough to play dirty Charades.

  4. mama said,

    The character with the lazy ovary is Amanda, a red-haired laywer, who had an illegitimate baby with her frenemy Steve (Since he had only one testical remaining after surgery they assumed they would not conceive.) They were on their way back to Amanda’s condominium after an outing shopping for a replacement ‘ball’ for Steve so he would not feel so lopsided.
    You guessed it. I would clean up in this particualr game of trivia. A phone call from me would have sinched the victory as long as you could paly while you were on the phone.

  5. Cat said,

    Actually the character with the lazy ovary’s name is Miranda, not Amanda and she and Steve eventually marry and buy a house. Miranda gets pregnant after having pity sex with Steve after he is treated for testicular cancer. The pregnancy is a surprise and she contemplates an abortion but reconsiders.

    Charlotte is the character who seeks help for her infertility.

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