January 31, 2006


Posted in General at 7:57 pm by Ian


In Europe…

Posted in General at 3:28 pm by Ian

…they have toilets that rise up out of the ground at night.

Like some kind of digusting stationary vampire.

January 27, 2006

An Epic Struggle IV: Revenge of the Epic Struggle

Posted in General at 2:25 pm by Ian

A while ago I wrote about the arduous experiences involved in purchasing my Rav4. Links to parts I, II, III, and the Epilogue.

I recently decided to sell my Miata. I put it up on craigslist, and quickly received email from several distant, spelling-deficient individuals who wished to exchange fradulent mail orders for my hard-earned cash. Isn’t the internet grand. I also got an email from a guy who seemed to be local and, you know, real. He came to look at the car today and did a test drive. After that, he said that he liked the car, and would be willing to offer me $lowball. I hemmed and hawed, and he mentioned some things, and then offered $unreasonable. He mentioned bluebook, and we talked about what bluebook really was, and then he dropped the bomb.

He pulled out a CARFAX report, and pointed to a line near the bottom.

“There’s a milage discrepancy,” he said.

As soon as I saw the number, I knew.

The SMOG that Ayers screwed up and submitted under the VIN and license of my Miata has come back to haunt me once again. Since the Rav4 has lower milage than the Miata, it is flagged as a discrepancy by Carfax. When I called Ayers to complain, the owner argued with me about how to make my case, and that his records don’t show anything like that, and they don’t supply their records to Carfax, so how could Carfax even get such a report (yeah, I’m sure it’s that other incompetent mechanic I took the car to who submitted a SMOG check under the wrong VIN and license) and that if the buyer is just trying to haggle down the price, then he’s not a good buyer anyway, and that the buyer can call him, and he’ll vouch for it (this, after I had to argue with him to agree that he even made a mistake in the first place) (::rolleyes::). I pointed out that I already knew that, and that’s not the point. The point is that they made a mistake, it’s costing me money and time, and they need to try to solve it. He reluctantly agreed to do so, and I hung up.

It looks like Carfax does have an error correction process, so I’ll be taking that route as well.

Dear Google: This post is about Ayers Automotive in Santa Barbara, CA. It contains reviews of their crappy service and complete incompetence. A collection of posts about problems with them can be found at my Ayers Automotive page. Again, that’s Ayers Automotive of Santa Barbara, CA

Nickelback to back

Posted in General at 12:24 pm by Ian

If you haven’t heard this yet, you should. Some guy mixed two of Nickelback’s hits so that one song is on each stereo channel. It sounds awfully uncreatively similar.

January 25, 2006

Traditional Chinese Sophomoric Humor

Posted in General at 7:38 pm by Ian

My fortune cookie today said the following

Behind an able man, there are always other able men

I think the fortune cookie people have caught on to the phrase often appended to fortune cookie fortunes, and are exploiting it.

January 23, 2006

86%, Baby!

Posted in General at 10:05 am by Ian

According to the Local Market Monitor, Santa Barbara is the most overpriced housing market in the country.


January 14, 2006

Chewbacca’s too furry

Posted in General at 2:49 pm by Ian

If this works, it could open up all kinds of awesome legal arguments. But, officer, I’m too hairy to jail!

January 11, 2006

That is Not a Martini

Posted in General at 9:29 pm by Ian

In a sane world, I’d order a dry, dirty martini, and I would get 4-5 parts gin to 1 part vermouth, and a bit of olive juice, extremely chilled, with tiny slivers of ice floating in it.

I’ve had to drop the “dry” part, because I keep getting served no vermouth. Thanks, buddy, but I know how to order cold gin with an olive in it.

I’ve also had to add “gin” to my order, having been asked too many times “What kind of vodka do you want?”

The gin kind, dumbass.

January 10, 2006

Oh no! My order!

Posted in General at 10:40 am by Ian

When you order something from Amazon.co.uk, it is “dispatched,” rather than shipped.

Although I know what it means, I keep imagining my package being ceremonially run through.

January 6, 2006

National Overload the Circuit Day

Posted in General at 10:45 am by Ian

Yesterday at lunch, we were interrupted by the Uninterruptible (not, apparently, a reciprocal arrangement) Power Supply for one of the computers near the back balcony.


“Did the power go out?” someone asked.

I looked up at the sky: blue. At the trees: still.

“I hope not. What would make the power go out on a day like this?”

“Maybe they’re doing work on the lines. Or maybe it’s like, National Overload the Circuit Day, and everyone just turned on their vacuum cleaners.”

I kind of like the idea. National Overload the Circuit Day. Let’s take all that national unity (or, more and more, lack thereof), and apply it to something truly wasteful and destructive. They’ve got all those Flex Your Power PSAs, and we could. Flex until the power lines arc to ground. Flex those utilities right into the ground.

And if this is a success (however defined), we could move on to National Low Water Pressure Day, and, if we’re really ambitious, National Signal the Wrong Turn Day.

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