June 30, 2006

Can I Take Your Order (Away)?

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:09 pm by Ian

On the way back from the bay area last week, Kyle and I stopped at Jack in the Box.

Shoulda known better. But it was either that or McDonald’s, or having to wait longer for real food.

We walked in and approached the counter. The strains of Spanish rap emanated from the kitchen area. We waited for about a minute, and then called out a greeting. We were informed, not in so many words, that someone would soon be with us. And someone was.

She was not having a good day. I could tell.

But she took our orders and then disappeared again, leaving the people behind us to fend for themselves.

They spoke Spanish only (Spanish, I think; not Hispanic) and had a bit of difficulty getting the attention of someone. But eventually, someone came out to take their order. Someone who didn’t speak Spanish.

Seriously: what are the odds.

But eventually they made themselves understood. I think one of them even managed a senior discount, despite not being a day over thirty. Kyle got his food, and the Spanish fellows got their food.

And I could see my food. Part of it, anyway, sitting on the back counter. I waited for a few minutes, then flagged down a passing employee.

“Excuse me, could I get my burger while I wait for the tacos?”

He stopped and looked at me pointing at the tray. He pointed at it, then looked at me questioningly.

Great. I managed to find someone who didn’t speak English.

“Yeah,” I continued, “could I…?”

He picked up the tray and walked toward me.

“Thanks! I’m starving. And I’ll just come back for my tacos.”

“Tacos?”

“Yeah, I’ve got two tacos coming, but I’ll just—”

“2 Tacos?”

He stopped just out of reach, then turned to go back into the kitchen with my food. I made a grab for the burger, but came up short. And then I stayed slumped over the counter, that all the restaurant could see my defeat.

June 29, 2006

Association

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:07 pm by Ian

“We all have the day off on the 4th. We should do something.”
“Let’s go sailing.”
“I’m worried about all the drunk people out on boats that day.”
“Hey, that reminds me: I need to put that bottle opener on my boat.”

June 19, 2006

Self-Credit Insurance for $19.95 (and counting) or How To Fly Through Account Cancellation

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:33 am by Ian

You may remember a past post in which, amongst much wailing and gnashing of my political principles, I pointed out that it was easy to make a quick few bucks off of credit card companies when they send you those “checks” that sign you up for a service.

Well, I got another one. Although, it seems that they’re wising up and risking less of their important capital. Instead of $10, I only got $9.95 for this one. This trend worries me, but not greatly.

Of course, in order to receive my newfound riches (or at least not have them extracted, monthly, in perpetuity), I had to call and cancel. I experienced some trepidation at this prospect. The last time I had tried to do this, it was easy enough. But I’ve since heard some harrowing tales, like this one about the guy trying to cancel an AoL account. I then resolved to use purposefully absurd fabricated reasons but, although I had fun doing it, it didn’t necessarily speed things up any. Then I discovered the magic words that bypass every script.

“I’d prefer not to state my reasons.”

They ask you why you are cancelling so they can answer your objections with a better deal. It’s just one more invitation to a sales pitch. But if you don’t say why you are cancelling, they have nothing. If you don’t offer an objection, they can’t respond to it.

June 11, 2006

Pull Out Cork; Drink Contents

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:38 pm by Ian

We went wine tasting today. At one of the wineries, there was a simple sign taped to the inside of one of the glass panels in the door. It said:

Turn knob and push to open door.

I can only assume that this sign was for the benefit of those who had previously patronized a number of other wineries.

June 8, 2006

The Greatest Firefox Extension Since Adblock

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:58 pm by Ian

Google just put out an extension that allows you to quickly and easily sync up settings between multiple copies of the Firefox webbrowser. You can sync up bookmarks, and even history, saved passwords, and other stuff. You can choose to encrypt the data.

Google Browser Sync.

June 5, 2006

Sprawlmanteau

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:58 pm by Ian

History take note: when the urban sprawl of San Diego finally meets that of Los Angeles, I suggest the name Losan Diegolangeles. And when it gets all the way up to San Francisco, we call the whole thing ‘Frisco, just to piss ’em off.

June 4, 2006

How Not to Install Windows on a Mac: A Step by Step (by Step) Guide

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:56 pm by Ian

  1. Lose contest of will with Apple marketing department. Order Macbook.
  2. Enjoy spirited discussion with Amazon.com customer service agent regarding expected delivery date of July 20, rebate deadline of June 30, and requirement that delivery invoice be included with rebate.
  3. Receive Macbook a few days later. Contemplate the fact that, as of receipt date, Amazon.com still lists the item as “Not Yet Released.”
  4. Start up Macbook and make an account.
  5. Install Parallels Virtualization software.
  6. Install Windows.
  7. Connect old laptop, and run migration wizard to move files and settings over.
  8. User account from old laptop, which has the same name as the new user account I’ve created. It is not possible to merge the accounts, so the old one is renamed. There is a radio button, but it is greyed out.
  9. Delete new account. Discover that it is not possible to change the name of an account without a whole lot of work.
  10. Connect old laptop again, and run migration wizard. Now have two copies of old account, one poorly named.
  11. Delete poorly named old account.
  12. Install Parallels Virtualization software.
  13. Install Windows.
  14. Discover that Windows is too slow without more memory. Install Boot Camp.
  15. Boot Camp error: Cannot move some files; reformat and reinstall, then run Boot Camp again.
  16. Reformat
  17. Install Mac OS X
  18. Install Boot Camp
  19. Install Windows
  20. Get network errors running the One Damn Game I wanted to run.
  21. Install additional memory.
  22. Install Parallels Virtualization Software
  23. Install Windows.