March 1, 2007

When Life Gives You…

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:52 am by Ian

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

When life gives you pears, march in a parade.

When life gives you mixed greens, lob a grenade.

When life gives you platters, don’t feel betrayed. (groan)

When life gives you foreigners, send foreign aid.

When life sends an invite, you need not invade.

When life double-crosses, call off the crusade.

When life gives you squares, set up a blockade.

When life seems revealing, it’s just masquerade.

go wild. Extra points to anyone who manages to use “general agreement on tariffs and trade” to good effect. The closest I got was “When life establishes a multinational production and shipping network with differing local costs and propensities to consume…”


  1. Chris said,

    When life gives you kittens, get your cat spayed.

  2. Chris said,

    Oh yeah, and this:

  3. Adam said,

    When life gives you a general agreement on tariffs and trade, drink GATTorade.

  4. Philip said,

    When life gives you 105 cards without a single “ace,” don’t be discouraged, you can still take fifth place.

  5. Ian said,

    You’re all really reaching.

    But I like that.

  6. Ryan said,

    When Gauss gives you lemmas, make lemma-ade

  7. Sarah said,

    When the director asks you to cast a morally upstanding father figure in your B movie, call Dennis Quaid.

    Also, less appropriately, though to better effect:

    When life gives you blockage, try colonnade.

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