July 17, 2007

Pretty Pretty Telephone

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:16 pm by Ian

My new cellphone wants to be a Princess.

It twinkles when it does things. And I mean anything. Press a key, and it emits a satisfyingly sparkly tone. Change an option, and it chimes in delight. When it is so lucky to actually receive a call from someone… well, its little electronic heart is positively overwhelmed with glee. The tinny delight of the speaker can’t be masked by mere clothing, causing me to tear at my pocket frantically to silence what sounds like a kidnapped bunch of My Little Pony minstrels.

The default text display is RAINBOW script. There’s another font option, called “Feather”, which is even more fruity. The normal, black text option is in a non-obvious place.

It comes in the color I got, and in hot pink.

I almost feel bad going in and messing with its settings. I am a firm supporter of the self-determination of all beings, including mobile telecommunications devices, but I just don’t think we can live together in harmony this way.

What if this is all just a mixup, a casualty of fate? The first Indian fellow I spoke to on the phone (I spoke to at least three) told me that I could not activate my phone because it was already in use. (He recommended that I take it to the store I purchased it from and they could fix it for me. I replied that I had tried knocking on the webpage, but nobody appeared to be in. Sarcasm is not a strong suit of the average Indian call-center employee, in case you were curious.) I imagine that somewhere there’s a distraught 12-year-old girl missing her cellphone, which was stolen in the middle of the night, brutally repackaged and mailed into slavery by the Sprint corporation.

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1 Comment »

  1. JT said,

    Genuine People Personalities beta?


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