April 15, 2008

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:24 pm by Ian

On her birthday, Gina and I went out for breakfast to the Venice Cafe, a nice little place on Melrose with tables spilling out onto the sidewalk and waiters in trendy clothes. They don’t, that I can tell, have any italian food, but they do make about twenty different versions of Eggs Benedict, each including one or more frou-frou ingredients like asparagus, brie, or lobster, and each, individually, awesome.

So we’re sitting there munching on bread and drinking our cucumber-essence-infused water (really), and I see a small flying insect land on the far side of the mouth end of Gina’s straw, just as she’s about to take a drink.

“No!”, I shout, slightly too forcefully, and she starts, knocking the bug off.
“There was a bug,” I say, somewhat sheepishly.

We look around, and eventually find the bug, upended, attempting to right itself on her bread plate.
“Aw, there you are, little bug.”

I should explain that Gina has a very Live and Let Live philosophy with regard to insects, but enforces a strict segregation upon them. Many times I have come home to find multiple drinking glasses upended throughout the house, each a small crystal prison for a stray insect. When my cat Penny got worms, they were individually tupperwared.

So on this morning, Gina was offering the bug the water it had so clearly wanted. She put her thumb over the top of the straw and extracted it, tapping it onto her bread plate near the bug.

“Here, little bug. You can have your own water.”

Tap, tap, tap, little drops of water dwarfed the bug on her plate.

And then her finger slipped, and the straw let loose.

A torrent of water poured from the straw, flooding the bug, and sweeping it off her plate faster than she could stop up the straw again. Gina’s face was full of shock.

All I could do was laugh.

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1 Comment »

  1. Kevin said,

    Haha. Poor bug.

    For the longest time I had the same attitude towards bugs. Back in college in our Atwood suite, I kept a silverfish trapped under a cup for a few months. At first I was pretty impressed that it managed to stay alive that long and even more impressed that it somehow managed to continue pooping despite me not feeding it anything. Turns out silverfish can eat paper and the little fella was keeping itself going by munching away at a piece of paper that it had been standing on before I trapped it.

    I tried adopting the same live and let live attitude towards an ant line that had developed in my apartment down in San Diego (except without trapping them since there weren’t nearly enough cups). That didn’t work out quite as well. It got so bad that eventually I had to bust out that chalk stuff that kills them as they walk over it. In the end I had a rather disconcerting pile of ant corpses that was pretty grotesque-looking.

    Now I just kill the little buggers. Except for crickets. They get immunity since they’re viewed as good luck in the Chinese culture so I just throw them out of the house. I’m skeptical of their good-luckiness (sounds like a rumor a cricket would have started), but I abide by it nonetheless.


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