November 2, 2008

Happy Halloween

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:08 pm by Ian

We carved pumpkins yesterday. We almost didn’t, for lack of pumpkins. A few years ago, I purchased a huge pumpkin for the day-after-Halloween price of $0.50, so I assumed that it would be equally easy this year, but after going to four different places, we had no such luck. We eventually called up the guy who runs the closed pumpkin patch, took a few pumpkins that were left outside, and threw a thank you note and $5 over the fence. We also requisitioned the neighbor’s pumpkin after the drunk guy who answered the door offered it to us.

Nick took some pictures, so you can see the designs we made: Pac Pumpkin, Tall Ship, Band Aid, and Hearts Intertwined.

We all managed to not cut ourselves. You know, every year the internets fill with the fear of people who think that their children will be killed by candy—some even go so far as to do crazy things like X-ray their candy—and then hand their children a knife and a slippery gourd.

Of course it’s not true. The ones that are the most suspect are the cases where the kid breaks into a family member’s drug stash and the candy is then laced to cover it up. Like if you had a bunch of heroin or cocaine you’d just waste it on poisoning a couple of kids. As a child, I conflated the paranoia over pedophiles with that of drug dealers. I had this image of the drug dealer as a trench-coated thug beckoning unsuspecting children into the recesses of a tinted-windowed Cadillac to foist that first free hit upon them. So imagine my surprise in college when it turned out they were just guys who slept late and talked a little too loudly. I guess all the people who send those emails around never went to college.

So enjoy that candy. Unless it was made in China, of course. Because who knows what the hell they put in that.

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