December 26, 2013

Twas The Day After Christmas…

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:02 pm by Ian

‘Twas the day after Christmas, so with trepidation
Surveying the ruins of the day’s jubilation

I walked room to room to see what had befell
My humble abode on this joyeux noël.

The stockings, which once had been bursting with plenty
Were crumpled knit husks—stripped, discarded, and empty.

The mantlepiece where they had once been suspended
Was swiss-cheesed with holes (it would have to be mended)

The floors rustled softly with paper and waste
That was torn from the presents, discarded in haste.

The tree was in pieces, the boughs wrenched asunder
When the children had massed and then grabbed for their plunder.

There were marks on the walls where the children had feuded
Over battery packs (which had not been included)

The kitchen appeared to’ve been sacked by yule vandals
(the marauders had burned all the red and green candles)

The fridge was stripped bare: every scrap had been eaten,
Every candy cane crunched, every egg cracked and beaten.

All the plates were piled up in spiraling tower
The countertops dusted with snowdrifts of flour.

But where were the miscreants who were to blame?
I received no response when I called them by name.

The children were gathered (as they’d been all vacation)
‘Round the TV which blared singing wintry claymation.

“All right, everybody”, I said to no heed
“It’s time that we all took a moment and tidied”

“On Comet! On Ajax! On mops, shovels, and brooms
We must scour the counters and clean all the rooms!”

“We’ll do it tomorrow, or maybe next weekend
Or at least after finishing Rudolph and friends!”

But they saw by my face there was clearly no use
In continued attempts to evade or refuse.

So we all pitched a hand in and each took a tool
And began to abolish the remnants of yule

And as we were cleaning, we perked up with cheer
Just three sixty four days until Christmas next year.