January 30, 2005
1 + 1 – 2 DVD Players
(This was originally written a few months ago, and I just found it again when I imported all those entries. I find it necessary to post now because I wrote something else that referenced it.)
I was a little worried about whether I’d actually get my projector after the luck I had with getting the “free” DVD player that was supposed to come with it. After I ordered the projector, I got an email with tracking information for two packages. The next day, I got another email from the place I bought it. Turns out that they’d actually shipped two DVD players, but no projector. Sorry for the delay, but the projector will be there one day later. And a new FedEx shipping number comes. They said that they’d try to recall one of the DVD players, but if both showed up, to refuse shipment on one.
So, come Wednesday, I tell my landlords that if two packages come, to only take one. When I get home, I hear from my landlords that the FedEx guy came with two packages and left both. He then came back and took both of them!
So now, another tracking number, and another supposed DVD player on the way.
::Suspense!::
Yeah. I got it.
January 27, 2005
Suck it, Jury Duty
So, liberated from my civic duty, I’m going to Claremont (by way of Lindygroove).
¡Me Roca, Amadeus!
Ok. That was bizarre. I just heard a hard-rock cover of Falco’s Rock Me, Amadeus.
In Spanish.
January 25, 2005
The Sport of Investment Brokers
At lunch today, we were talking about how expensive it was to play golf, and somebody mentioned thousand dollar clubs. Mike was incredulous.
“They don’t cost that much.”
“The expensive ones do.”
“Not for just one club!”
“I bet they do.”
“You’re talking, like, an ordinary club sold in stores, not some personally autographed, eBay-aggrandized solid-gold club.”
“Right.”
“One Thousand Dollars?”
“Or more.”
“You’re on!”
I give you the DR4E driver, with a 20 carat industrial diamond inlay on the striking surface. Original retail price, $1000.
January 23, 2005
Wait For It
We were playing Trivial Pursuit over at Jason’s house. My team had fallen behind after our third, Dave K, had left to go home. My remaining teammate Duane and myself were running into significant trouble because we had yet to get the Sports pie piece, and neither of us knew anything about sports. After receiving yet another impossible sports question, Duane had an epiphany.
Dave K may have left the house, but he was still on our team!
Grabbing the card, he made a quick phone call.
“Hi Dave, Listen: ‘What Dodgers southpaw’s groundbreaking surgery allowed him to recover from a potentially career-ending torn ulnar ligament?’…”
He paused a moment, and we waited to hear the verdict.
“…Ok, when you get this message, call me back as soon as possible.”
::sigh::
January 20, 2005
Eat No Fritos Day!
To protest the inaguration of President Bush, I hereby declare today to be Eat No Fritos Day. President Bush, after being popularly elected, today has the gaul to go out and be sworn into office as is Constitutionally mandated. What a jerk. Most of my friends and I are outraged that such a thing should come to pass, and if you are similarly distressed, show the world by not eating any Fritos for the entire day.
That’s right. Not one. Not even the Limited Edition Lime and Chili flavored Fritos™.
The Frito was chosen based on its similarity to the Bush Administration. Like the Bush Administration, the Frito is twisted, unhealthy, and has leveraged America’s reliance on consumption of oil for its own monetary gain. In addition, Fritos are delicious; thus, going without for an entire day represents a significant hardship on the average consumer, and will certainly demonstrate the depth of our distaste (for Bush. Not Fritos).
Unfortunately, I was a bit slow in releasing this pronouncement. However, do not dispair. If you have not yet eaten any Fritos today, congratulations! We are with you! Just a few more hours and this ideological battle will be won. If you have consumed Fritos today, do not despair! There are several options available to you, including induced vomiting or laxatives. Just make sure that the Fritos are no longer in your system by midnight. If you are unwilling to make even this small gesture, most of my friends and I think you suck.
Thank you.
January 19, 2005
The Evilblog That Once Was
I have now imported all the archives from the former incarnation of EvilBlog. All the self-links are no-doubt broken, but I’ll hopefully be uploading the old pictures again sometime soon.
The End of Blog Spam (eventually!)
Google just announced a new tag attribute that removes the benefit of spamming for page-rank increases.
Putting “rel=nofollow” inside an <a href> tag means Google, Yahoo, and MSN Search won’t bother following it.
Suck it, spammers.
January 18, 2005
Maybe He Thought No One Watched
The winner of the first season of Survivor is going down for tax fraud. Looks like he failed to report the $1.01 million he won on the show. How dumb do you have to be?
Ian Ferrel 